The honeymoon is over...

Chemotherapy is starting to change our lives.  The night that I wrote my last post, Paul had a very bad night.  The chemo is wreaking havoc on his GI tract.  No, he is not puking,  let's just say that his intestines are not very happy at the moment. I finally had to call the on-call oncologist last night to get permission to give him some additional meds to stop his bowels.  The doctor told me it is imperative to get things under control, so that he doesn't get dehydrated (didn't tell me anything I didn't already know).  Evidently, this can be a big problem with chemotherapy.

Paul's esophagus is NOT happy either.  He is not able to eat very many things without them getting stuck...thus, he has a whole lot of "gacking" going on.  In addition, nothing really tastes very good either. I bought him a banana cream pie from Marie Calendars yesterday.  He was able to eat some (without "gacking") and said it tasted really good.

Fortunately, Paul can still get liquids in, but he is so sick of liquids (including shakes and smoothies)!  He is losing weight rapidly at the moment.  Unfortunately, he is going to have to eat more smoothies...that is the only way I can see to keep his weight more stable.  Even at that, he said it is getting harder not to "gack" on smoothies.  The frustration is starting to set in.  He so desperately wants to eat "real" food, but I think he would be happy if he could get his smoothies down smoothly (no pun intended).  I guess we'll be trying some more pie today!

Life is about opposition.  You have to experience the bad to understand and appreciate the good.  That is the journey we are on now.  We have good days, but we also have the bad.  I would love to say that we always feel strong, optimistic, and full of gratitude, but that is not always the case.  Sometimes, I just want to scream and yell stop!  Obviously, Paul feels this...I am sure a lot more so than I do.  He is the one suffering...  It is through suffering that we learn the most...

We are going to be calling the doctor on Monday to see if we can get him in to have his esophagus dilated.  His surgeon said that he has had enough time to heal, but we don't know what they will do while he is on chemotherapy.  We need to do something or he will most likely be going back on TPN.